The WASP vol. 5:
Vive le Nipple!
aka: The Tale of Two Apples
An apple. By some perceived as an innocent fruit eaten to be healthy. Others see it as the ultimate proof that women ought not be trusted. Some link it to a company which aim is to make you simply and utterly cool. Some see it as a perfect name for their children, God knows why. And when the Apple is Big enough, it stands for a city where dreams come true, and alligators allegedly live in the sewer system. An apple. Such an innocent-looking fruit, yet its significance can be manifold and it always points to the most favorite hobby of all time: a sin. Lust, pride, envy, greed. An apple, with its voluptuous shape, has more meanings than biology has intended for it to possess. Unless nature is much smarter than all of us and had planned it consciously. That also applies when it comes to the other component of this month’s theme: a nipple. Everyone has two (Could I be more close-minded and intolerant? Forgive me, Chandler Bing). Their natural purpose is to feed the little people, yet they are much sexier than that: they bring pleasure and confusion – at least to psychoanalysts. Without nipples breasts would lose their significance, and censors would have much less work to do. Therefore, if you think about it, nipples and apples have much more in common than a similar word structure. And the common element is ppl – those who have given them their special place in the history and in the discourse.
Bernardo Bertolucci coined what has become the most suitable theme for this month’s Wasp. In his 1988 Academy Awards acceptance speech he stated that if New York City is the Big Apple, then Hollywood should be the Big Nipple. Freud would cry like a baby if he hadn’t died decades before and could have heard it. Especially since, apparently, size does matter, because nothing is good enough if it ain’t big enough. Wink wink, nudge nudge, dear gentlemen. Don’t you fret, though. If Mother (or Father?) Nature hasn’t given you enough reasons to impress the ladies with the magnitude of your … influence, just visit one of those splendid marvels of urban planning, and some of its hugeness might compensate for certain inadequacies of yours. In this issue we will stay at the East Coast thoroughly exploring the Appleness, levitate over Levittown to see how extremely overrated exceptionalism and uniqueness are, delve into the issue of bigness while tackling the common stereotypes about American obesity, just to end up being full after having consumed the apple of our eye – consumerism (with the nipple as an amuse-bouche, pun intended).